Courage in Communication: Building Intimacy Through Conversation

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I'm grateful to be starting the week with a dose of clarity. Over the weekend, I got to have some very 'sexy' conversations that created a space for open communication and deeper intimacy with loved ones.

Note: the conversations weren't sexually arousing in the slightest, I was talking to my parents after all. :p

On Saturday, I had an extensive conversation with each of them about the work I do. They've had many questions and curiosities over the past few months and they've undoubtedly had some concerns as well. 

After some miscommunication about content I've been posting and information I've been sharing in a public forum, we got to create clarity and dive deep into talking about WHY I became an Intimacy Coach and what fuels my passion for this work.

In these conversations, I was faced with confronting feelings of judgement, discomfort, shame, defensiveness, and so much more.

Without consciously knowing what I was doing in the moment, I looked back and realized that I had embodied courage and vulnerability in conversation with them, which led to connection, understanding, intimacy, and love. 

What the hell does any of that mean, anyway? 

I've recorded a video that shares my process for how to tap into courage and vulnerability in real time! Below is a cliff notes version...but watch the video, I expand on all of this and give helpful examples of how to navigate each part of the process.

  1.  Become aware of automatic thoughts - they are NOT us

  2. Become aware of sensations in the body (without judging them)

  3. Take a deep breath

  4. Ask: How would I like to proceed?

  5. Proceed

  6. Ask: Does this make sense / are we on the same page? (level set)

  7. Create a commitment / give your word to something - create who you will be in this relationship and how you will show up

As always, take what works for you and leave what doesn't. This process is not meant be a linear process. In other words, you can ebb and flow between the steps, multiple times, and out of order. Make it all your own!

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Special shout outs to Tara Brach and her talk on Living with Courageous Presence(part of the inspiration for this email), Landmarkfor equipping me with new ways to create an empowered life, and most of all to my Mom, Dad, and Aunt for their unconditional love.